Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I love Jerry Seinfeld

About 10 years or more ago I got this Jerry Seinfeld book that he wrote. It was basically things people would blog about. I just remember reading it to my mom and laughing so hard about one or two paragraphs that I would practically pee my pants and my stomach would hurt. It was the first person or book I actually considered really funny.

Anways that is the reasoning behind why I like Jerry. I am going to find the book and find those paragraphs that made me pee my pants. I'll write them and we can decide if they are still as funny as I remember.

grandparents these days...

I thought were computer illiterate!

Not my grandma. First of all, she's had email forever. That is no big deal to her. Then she got instant messenger so she can send messages to my mom. The other week the whole family gets an email that invites us all to her new blog. (If you want to check it out, it's http://earnedmygreyhairs.blogspot.com/ ) And I promise you I never even told her that I had a blog. She just came up with her own blog one day and now she updates it everyday. Then to top it all off I got an email the other day that says, "Ethel Russell requests to be your facebook friend." Oh my word, my grandma has a facebook page. I denied the request. Is that horrible of me? My answer is I definitely don't feel guilty about that.

This is just a side note from dinner at the grandparents tonight. My dad was drinking coffee out of a mug. I looked at it, read the cup, and said it outloud, "I did it in Danville." (It was from a bank grandma used to work at in Danville.) Dad and I laughed for a while, but didn't let grandma in on what was so funny about the mug.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

i get your drift.

I was meeting my mom today at the mall. I walk in to the department store from the parking lot and immediately ignore the person who is trying to sell something at the door. I stop though and notice that the guy who is selling something is actually my age, does not have a wedding ring, and is actually cute. That situation just does not happen very much. So I go back to the table. I talk to him about what the coupon is for, what his company was, blah blah blah. I must have been talking too much because then when I asked him if he lived around here he said, "I live in Bloomington because my girlfriend goes to school there." Then he asks me about what I do, and I say I'm a teacher. He says, "Oh my girlfriend has a friend whose a teacher!" So I was thinking then, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get your drift. You have a girlfriend." I say it was nice talking with ya and go on my merry way.

Why in the world does it matter that I need to know where his girlfriend goes to school and if his girlfriend's friends are teachers? I secretly actually think it was weird but nice of him to constanly talk about his girlfriend to a stranger.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

rain

I left school and right away my gas light turns on. I had just ran through the parking lot in the cold pouring rain so of course getting gas was the last thing that I wanted to get out of my car and do. I passed a couple gas stations and still convincing myself that getting out of my car again to get gas was ridiculous. No one should have to be outside in this rain.

Then, of course, right when I think it is crazy to even be outside for 2 minutes I look over at the Peoria Stadiums and there were 2 soccer games going on. Grown men playing soccer in the pouring, cold rain. What are they thinking? They obviously are willingly doing this. Or they are an olympic team that can't allow the time to cancel a game and reschedule.

Who's more stupid, those soccer players or me driving on no gas and not wanting to get gas even though there are covers.

I did actually get gas at the next stop. If those soccer guys are that brave I will be too!

Baby Queen Video.

http://users.telenet.be/leukelinks/flash/queen.htm

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

aerobic class

I would just love to know what people think about when they do those aerobic workout classes. Yesterday I went to this crazy class at the riverplex that I don't remember the name to, Turbo Attack maybe? Anyways, 35 minutes after you have used up every ounce of energy you thought you had, the muscle woman leading us tells us we have the hardest part coming for the next 20 minutes. At that point is when I wonder what people are thinking. I muster up the weirdest situations in my head just to get myself to kick as high as I can, to keep jumping when they tell you to jump. I visualize someone in front of me that I have to kick his face off or that I'm filming in an action movie or that if I just jump a little higher this one last time I will win some huge award. What are these other people thinking about? Their grocery lists? That they might die that second? Maybe they are thinking about nothing. who knows. I know what I think about.

percentages not looking so good.

In church on Sunday we had a guest missionary speaker. One of the first thing he tells us is that "80% of high school students leave the church within 12 months of Senior year of high school, and 70% of them do not come back." Yousers! Don't get me wrong, I loved college; but I wonder what kind of impacts it is making on the Church.

The guy said a whole lot more, but I thought that his first statistic was food for thought.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Get me a green pepper!! NOW!

I am someone who feels the need to HAVE to have all of the ingredients in a recipe in order to eat it. I almost didn't eat my chili yesterday, and I love chili.

Yesterday, I was the first one home so I was in charge of making the chili. Well, I find all of the ingredients... except green peppers. Right then, I called mom and leave a message, "Mom, I cannot make the chili because there is no green peppers!" Then I call dad and leave him a message, "Dad , I cannot make this chili for dinner because there is no green peppers!"

I start dumping the rest of the stuff in the pot. I sit and wait for my last ingredient. I was so hungry, and I kept thinking I only had 20 more minutes until I had to leave for my game. Hungry and waiting my parents finally come home, but with NO green pepper. I said, "What are we going to eat if we don't have all of the ingredients?!" They looked at me weirdly and told me it doesn't matter if it's in there or not we are still going to eat it.

hmm... interesting, still eat it without the green pepper in it? I got a bowl and it tasted just like chili even with out the green pepper. Praise the Lord, my dinner didn't even need to be saved.

Monday, October 20, 2008

bath robe

If there was one piece of clothing I love it would be my bathrobe. The particular bathrobe I have is 7 years old, which is not too old. My grandma's is probably 20 years old.

I didn't notice I even liked it that much until quite recently. Today for instance let me fill you in on my happenings after I got home. Let me add in that it is a dreary, windy, rainy, cold day. I come home and I instantly go upstairs and put on my slippers and out of my high heels. I start dinner. I wasn't comfortable enough. I go back upstairs and put on my black pants instead of my thin dress pants. I keep dinner going. I realize I need to take Maggie our dog out so I run upstairs again and usually you would think that a person would get a coat. I go and instantly grab my white bathrobe. So now I have my cheetah slippers, thick black pants, turtleneck, and white robe. I take Maggie out into the front yart to go pee. Once I was outside in my outfit, it dawned on me that I look like an old woman who has been sick in her bed for a week. Who wears their bathrobe and slippers outside?!

I'm not taking it off. I just cooked chili in it. I even slept in my robe the other night. It's like sleeping with a hug. Well it's not as good as a warm hug, but close.

I will take it off to go to volleyball tonight. I'm not that attached.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

a bit more about Friday

I forgot to add that when the kids came back from their puberty session I had mini deoderants on every kid's desk. The funny part was how excited they all were about it. The boys got Old Spice and they got them out right away and started using it on their armpits. The boys started putting it behind their knees and on their feet.

The girls came in later and didn't quite put it on right away. They did open it up right away and thought it smelled "Amazing!" They all wanted me to smell it. They did actually smell really good, like cocoa butter.

Deoderant, their prize possession for the day.

Friday, October 17, 2008

puberty talk was today.

Well, my kids survived the puberty talk meeting. 90 minutes long.

I was not allowed in the boys room, thank God! The boys came back first, and they definitely gave me an earful.
-"I am horrified."
-"I am going to have nightmares tonight!"
-"I was so bored."

I of course got the most exciting question told to me. Their was a boy in the other class who rose his hand and asked, "Can testicles get squashed?!" Wow. I am glad one of my boys did not ask that. If you're interested, the speaker said, "Yes, you're balls can be squashed."

The girls room was not as entertaining. There were a lot of questions though, which was surprising.

All in all, I think they learned a lot. That's what school is for, right?!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

is it odd that..?

Matt calls me tonight leaves a message: "Jodi. It's Matt. Do you think it's odd that..."

Okay friends. Basically if anyone asks if what they are doing is odd, it probably is! But always remember, odd is good not bad!

So he admits to me that he has been buying tons of food at McDonalds that he can't possibly and probably won't eat just to get those Monopoly pieces. McDonalds brings back their smartest marketing idea ever. They know exactly what Americans want and love. Americans love games. Americans love food. Americans love money.

They have Matt spending his salary at McDonalds. How many others are out there?! It is odd, Matt, but I have faith that you will win something! haha.

"bye bye ketchup." tear.

We are reading this book at home. 6 ways to become healthy or 6 weeks to becoming healthy or something like either of those. Well, of course each step has a ton of things you have to do to complete the step. So, mom and I decided to do what we can each day.

At dinner tonight mom eyes the Heinz ketchup bottle, turns it around and looks at the ingredients. She says, "This has high fructose corn syrup in it!" I shook my head and said, "oooh noo." "Good bye ketchup bottle."

I laughed pretty hard about that. I actually was so serious about my "Oh no." I knew from then on our household would not see Heinz ketchup or probably any ketchup again. Oh we'll probably bust it out for picnics in the summer when the guests want it, but until then.. the Aaron's said goodbye to ketchup tonight.

tear.

what's next?! peanut butter! probably.

Monday, October 13, 2008

big guy REALLY had to go...

My mom and I were on our way to my volleyball game tonight. We were 5 minutes from our destination, but my mom HAD to go to the bathroom right away. So, we find a gas station in the middle of nowhere and found the restroom. It was a one person bathroom so I was waiting in the hall for my turn. I was lounging in the hallway when this big guy comes running past me, pushes me to the side a little and runs for the men's handle. He grabs it and it was locked. "Oh man! I can't believe it's locked!" So we stand side by side in this little hallway. I stare at him while he bounces his feet back and forth like a little kid about to pee his pants. (He is definitely a grown middle aged 40 year old man.) He tries to distract himself by reading the bulletin board fliers. Then he tries to start a conversation with me, and his opening is "I should have worn a diaper!" All I thought of to say was, "I guess you should have worn one."

I made it into my restroom before he did. Hopefully he'll go buy some diapers or at least not tell strangers that in little hallways in the middle of nowhere.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

a gray rampage

I don't know what got into me this morning. It all started with a $15 Target gift card.

Gift cards are the devil. I spent 125$ when I was only supposed to spend 15$. I was going to get candy for my kids and maybe something for my halloween costume. I did that. Then I found these adorable gray sneakers. Right then was when my gray rampage started. I went to the woman's section and literally tried on 18 different items that could go with these sneakers. I bought a couple things, but I thought I could do better. Then I went to Macy's with a 10$ gift card. I bought something else that was gray. Then I went to gap and bought 2 more gray things.

I crossed "get candy" off my list. But then added... return some of the gray stuff and return something else at Target and rebuy it because I actually forgot to use my gift card when I checked out.

i'm leaving to go hiking now. i'm going to wear nothing gray for now.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

puberty slips

I had no idea that in 5th grade the school has a program setup to split the boys and girls up to talk about certain things. Well maybe the first week of school they asked me when they were going to have a boy/girl meeting. I said I had no idea what they are talking about.

So a week ago, the secretary comes in with permission slips. One pile for the boys, one pile for the girls. She told me to hand them out. My kids instantly saw them on their desks when they came in to the classroom. Some just stared at it. Some said, "OH NOOO!" Some asked if they had to do it.

The funniest part is that they had to turn them back in and a few of the kids forgot to do that. So I have to go and ask them for their permission slip. They say, "Permission slip for what?" I tell them, "Oh you KNOW, the puberty slip." They get super awkward, but then kind of laugh about it. They are officially called the "puberty slips."

Next Friday, from 1 to 2:30 the program will start. I even got a few parents coming in to attend the meeting. It's going to be a big day. I'll give an update about it next weekend.

Puberty = when you are no longer a carefree child that has no worries in the world

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

this is a shout out to the 80's Barbie doll

We all had the 80's Barbie doll. did we not? Jess and I saw the REAL Barbie doll on Sunday. We saw her. We stared at her. We took lots of picture of her. These boys walked by and told us "Y'all are going to hell." I looked sheepish and said, "What for?" "You know why."

Here's the description. Teased hair in a high pony tail... messy with strands of hair coming down. Very tan. Very skinny. Then the dress.. oh my. i just chuckled thinking about it. the dress was very fluorescent orange. It was a very short tube dress with straps off the shoulder. I actually have no comment on the shoes. they couldn't have been normal though.

reliving life

I was just thinking about this yesterday when Matt and I were talking about how awesome Saturday's game was. I said, "I wish we could do the whole thing over again!"

Seriously, WHAT IF... you could relive things over again? If I could just pick and choose days I have had and consolidate them into 365.25 days and make that the year I just relive over and over again that would be pretty awesome. The only bad thing is that what if better days are to come? Then I would be living a "perfect" year over and over, but it is actually just ho hum compared to what I would have had if I just kept on living in the present. Maybe the day before I die God will tell me, "Jodi, your life has come to an end so now you can finally pick your favorite 265.25 days of your life and relive them this next year before you come to heaven."

Maybe I should number from 1 to 365 and start jotting down the days I would like to repeat, then by the time I die I will have my days all recorded and ready.

birthday gifts

Yesterday one of my kids wanted to give me my birthday gift soo bad. She kept saying, "Can I pleeease give you your birthday gift?! I got you the coolest gift ever. You're going to love it." Finally after school I told her she could give it to me a day early. She runs over and gets it from her desk and makes me close my eyes and open my hand. Well I trust her for some reason not to do anything mean to me when my eyes are closed so I open my hand. She puts it in and tells me to look... It was a rock.

Now I know that came from the heart, (It was actually a rock shaped heart haha.) but seriously. I think this might be one of the things I miss from my old school. Last year, I got a Visa card for $200! Holy cow is all I said when I got that moulah. I used that money right up on a couple's massage.

Even thought I only have hand soap and twizzlers (I hate twizzlers) on my desk right now, I know they really like me.

Monday, October 6, 2008

sleep deprived

okay. I have got to be honest here, I need sleep. All my mom said to me when she saw me today was, "You look awful!" oh dear. I LOVE 8 hours of sleep more than anything in the world. I will hopefully get that tonight with my sleeping drugs I got today. Tomorrow... tomorrow I will not be the Debby Downer of my own blog. The real Jodi will reappear again with a good story... tomorrow.

nighty night y'all!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

YES!!!!

Pa-lin! Pa-lin! Pa-lin! The democrats love her, what?! The news loves her, what?! The Truth Squad says she is all around truthful and joe is a big liar.

I love the "Truth Squad." that is a great name. What kind of squad could I be a part of? I'm not computery enough to be a part of the Geek Squad. What other squads are there that we can be a part of.

"Say it ain't so, Joe."

A wink and a smile

I'm watching the debate. That's what my friend, Val, and I do for fun on a Thursday night haha.) Did anyone hear Joe Biden say Bush's name over and over and over in one of his comments. That wasn't the funny part, it was the way he said his name.. Boooshez, Booshez, Boooshez... it was just too much I definitely lol-ed.

I do think they are both doing well, but still I love Palin's wink she does all of the time. I wish I could do that. ;) And I love Joe's teeth. Wow are his teeth big and straight. He needs to flash those pearls more.

Palin is a real woman. I like her. I hope I am like her.